most of January was spent with words. I’ve been reading a lot, from Harry Potter to blogs to academic journals for assignments. speaking of assignment, I handed my first research report which made me feel both relieved and stressed, ’cause that meant more researches to come. anyway, Coldplay’s Parachutes was on repeat whenever I drive. my music taste somehow changed, because Shiver now has the same place as Yellow. one night I was driving on an empty Silk home while blasting Yellow but I could never feel the same way as I did listening to the song for the first time. I guess sometimes some feelings you’re allowed to feel only once.
in February I ended my study in Foundation. before that, I finished my four-month marathon reading the Harry Potter series. I have been gaining weight for the past months but it’s only obvious now. I can hardly fit into a thirty-four anymore. I wasn’t in the mood of eating and drinking as much as I did in the past though it was Chinese New Year. for spring clean, I kept throwing things out since my break started, and I didn’t stop even after the Chinese New Year began. I tend to hold on to things that remind me of people or things or little precious moments. that’s why when I’m in the mood of cleaning I throw most of them out. sometimes they are a burden when you’re moving on.
what I’d planned to do in March was to clear out all my stuffs – both physical and virtual – from way back 2009 up till the present before I turn nineteen so I could enjoy my last year under twenty and have a fresh start next year. at the beginning of March the bandmates and I performed in a wedding. shortly after that, I flied to Krabi for a four-day trip together with two uni-mates. the trip was good. there’s not much planning to do and three of us get to “escape” for a while, though not much of that needed for me. writing has become part of me. it’s soothing. so I wrote on the blog. I wrote in my notebook. I even started writing in my diary again. apart from that I thought a lot. because what do you write if you don’t think? I thought about people. about the books I read. about the people in the books I read. about growing up. about the tunnel. or maybe it’s a passage. about changing. about Darwin. soon, it was my birthday and out of sheer fun, I took down my birthday on my Facebook and that day somehow didn’t feel like my birthday, or perhaps it’s just the sign of ageing. and then in a blink of an eye, I started my First Year in Degree.
the starting of Year One means having to know more people and dealing with academic modules that doesn’t seem to help directly in what I want to be in the future (we’ll see). I like knowing new people but I hate the whole process of asking “what’s your name” and getting uneasy when the conversation stops. anyhow, I did know some new names and added a few numbers into my contact list. also, I got a new camera to replace Baby Nick which was damaged during my Krabi trip. unfortunately, I didn’t get to play around with it much because my grandmother passed away and the second half of the month were mostly made up of traveling between Sekinchan and Kajang/Subang.
as May rolled in, I was running around banks and getting my documents prepared for interviews and other applications. it actually made me feel like an adult. I went for my first ever interview for a scholarship offer and although I wouldn’t say it went very well, at least I had a new experience. besides, I also went for a job interview as a music teacher but apparently they want a teacher who can work long-term so I guess that’s the end of it. in the midst of May, I felt motivated and energized as though this miraculous energy was formed inside me. I actually took the time to sit down and wrote a ten-year plan for myself. it feels truly good to set goals and have a clear mind on my priority.
nothing much happened at the beginning of June but I had a lot of trouble trying to sleep. I guess sugar should be blamed because I slept well after I cut sugar after dinner. someday in June Vanessa and I went for a pre-planned shoot. it went pretty well and I’m indebted to her. I was mostly busy looking at print mags and playing around in Lightroom during the time. also, constantly replaying HyukOh and Ohashi Trio while doing that. I wonder if there’s something like runner’s high in listening music. if there is, I think I’m having it. I was pretty attracted with the idea of minimalism life. so, as my first step I cleared 90% of my e-mail. let’s see where will this go.
the first week of July was spent finishing my final work for the semester. then, on a Saturday, I went to cook in Arif’s house together with a bunch of high school mates. finals for my first semester falls on the second week. I was relieved to get done of C&C and look forward pretty much for second semester. filled my time during semester break with a steamboat together with uni-mate, a day trip out to Botanical Garden > Jump Street > Karaoke session > steamboat with high school mates, a few movies, cleaning my room, making ice lollies, catching up with people that I haven’t seen for a long, long time and being sick + sleepy + drowsy for a complete week. also, got a part-time job teaching keyboard at my high school. teaching these kids reminded me a lot of my time learning music, playing band and participating high school activities. the last day was spent back in uni helping to prepare for 30 Hours Famine Camp.
the camp fell on the first two days of August and I was in charge of the PA system. I was happy with my job despite already spending four years of my high school doing that because at least I have a rough idea of the ins-and-outs of this plus it doesn’t require me to run around. the only downside was that we couldn’t get full control of the system. after the camp I was sick for an entire week – without any voice and throat hurting like hell. then the next Saturday, Yu Sze and I watched TedxKL with two of her other friends. it felt good to finally listen to Malaysian speakers after binge-watching so many overseas Ted Talks on YouTube. the following Sunday, I went to shoot a Ukranian couple at Twelve Cafe. in between these events, I caught up with people I haven’t met for some time, hung out with the band peeps, celebrated a friend’s birthday at Pavilion, went shopping with mom, watched some old and new movies, talked about design and future plans, played around with sound and Ableton, watched a senior performed at Subang, and felt that everyone has grown. it was a truly great month, I’ve never felt so contented.
Sem 2 of Degree began in September. it’s pretty much like art class this sem because most of the assignment required drawing, colouring, etc. those arts and crafts stuff that you didn’t expect to do again after you graduate from primary school. oddly, I watched a lot of films in the cinema this month. a lot more great ones at home. took up some “design” work (more like Photoshop work, take some shapes and fonts and put them together nicely) and dreamt about endless possibilities. also, realized that my roommate for more than a year listens to some pretty good music. thus, I was introduced to a whole new world of music that I’ve not discovered before thanks to YouTube’s related videos and autoplay function.
October went by in a whiz. at the beginning I was just starting to feel like Sem 2 had begun for real and liking it but then two weeks later I was caught in what is known as “assignment tsunami”. I drew my own planner and started to use the time-blocking way to do my work. although it worked, I felt like a donkey for constantly moving from task to task. also, interviewed someone for the first time for a media writing assignment. while it wasn’t bad, it didn’t go very well either. then I decided to take Advertising instead of Journalism for my minor after two weeks of writing torture. though curious I am, I don’t think being constantly inquisitive about things that I felt too personal is what I want to do. some day in the month we went to the airport and bid goodbye to Jye Yu.
with “mid-term break” approaching, the beginning of November is good. and then during my break I shot Ming together with some vintage goods at a studio and binge watch movie and spend time with family. and then it was time to go back to school again. one day I just woke up and understood a lot of things about life, but alas, there’s no one to talk to (nooo!). also, talked a lot about our favourite visual styles and movie with Wilson so we did a noir style shoot for our assignment. also, had some friends over for a mahjong session before Nichole flies off, sat for the only exam for the semester and did a background music for Wilson’s short film.
before the official end of the semester it was already the end of semester as we’re done with all the class except one last art assignment during our final week. and then I was hiding at home watching movies again. you can call me anti-social because I realize that I’m loving solitude more and more, it’s however the opposite that scares me – going out and having to face people. somewhere around there I did went out to a farewell for Arif. then, I went for a trip to Sg. Lembing with my family but unfortunately the weather wasn’t good. after that I had my teeth extracted. on Christmas eve a few friends and I went to Moses’s place and later to Jean’s place to a farewell for Nichole. a few days later, we went to sent her off and later that night went to I a concert organized by my high school bandmates.
…and I guess that’s how my 2015 went.
I first saw something like this here and wanted to record things down as each month passed by as well. I rarely go back to edit so as to see how I really was during that certain period through my words. …but I’m not sure how it end up like this, I think it’s messy. anyway, happy new year!